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I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

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1,493 Likes in 9 categories

• Funny & inspirational quotes, sayings and updates
• Love quotes

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funny

people

joking

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i'm just going to say it, you need to be examined.

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Nothing in maths calculated with infinity can have a result.... true? No, false... 0 * infinity is still 0.

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I hate these nerds. They think they're all smarter than me just cause I'm dumber than them.

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Dressing up as a seagull and walking around stealing people's chips.

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Call of Duty? No thanks, I'll stick with throwing snowballs on Club Penguin

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Good game...Good game...Go to hell...Good game...

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I said to my parents, "Mum...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on.""Ok, cool," they replied,"Your luggage is outside" I added.

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turning 28

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turning 29

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That awkward moment when you are trying to give your daughter “The Talk” and she keeps interrupting…with corrections

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What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

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If women say they aren't meant to cook, why do they have eggs and milk inside them?

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Terrorists have two eyes..... pandas have two eyes. Coincidence? I think not!

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If I was "16 And Pregnant", I'd get a slap not a TV show.

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I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out.

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Mom: "What are you doing?" Me: "Homework!" *Mom looks at the screen* "Really? When did they start putting it on Facebook?"

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